Esperanza
by Scully22
Summary: Post Milagro... Mulder helps Scully after Kevin and Padgett disappear... implied MSR


**Chapter 1 **

Scully wouldn't let go of Mulder, she just sobbed and sobbed. It didn't matter that his apartment door was wide open, or that they were on the floor, it didn't matter if anyone heard or came by, he wouldn't let go of her either. She still pulled on him, trying to get him closer, she needed him to be closer then he was. He made sure to just hold on tight, tighter then he usually would, he hated seeing her so upset. He could feel the moister pouring from her eyes onto his neck, and as much as he wanted her to stop, for her own sake, he figured it best she get it all out. Kevin had scared her so much, Mulder feared he'd haunt her for a long time.

After Scully's tears started to dry, and her breathing began to normalize Mulder figured it was time he got her tidied up. Slowly he took his arms out from around her, and once on his knees he helped her sit up.

"You ok?" he asked looking at her dripping make up, matted hair and wet cheeks. She nodded as her lips started to quiver and she held back more tears. They heard footsteps in the hall and immediately Scully jumped, luckily Mulder's hand was close by and she grabbed on to it tightly. He looked down at her hand surprised by how tight she held on, "it's ok," he told her as he got up. He smiled as he popped his head out to see a neighbor down the hall going in their apartment, he closed and locked his door for Scully to see she was safe.

"Why don't we get you cleaned up, ok?" Mulder suggested walking back toward her, she nodded and he helped her up. Mulder assisted her to his bathroom, she was still very shaken up and needed the extra support. He closed the toilet seat and she sat down on it, not being able to stand on her feet too long. Mulder closed the bathroom door for more space, and reached under the sink for wash cloths. He sat down on the side of his tub, and turned on the facet. He kept a close eye on Scully as he warmed the water to a nice heat. After soaking one of the wash cloths under the water he set it down on the tub ledge and stood up.

"Do you want me to help, or do you want to do this yourself?" he asked. Scully didn't say a word. She didn't even look up at him, her eyes simply stared at his knees. He wasn't sure what to do but figured he should leave her alone a few minutes, he began to walk away when he felt a warm hand latch on to his. He turned around to see her looking up at him and he nodded, "I'll stay, I'll stay for as long as you need."

She definitely needed to be cleaned up, her whole front was bloody, and her face was soaking in old tears. He wasn't quite sure how to clean her up without actually taking her shirt off. After her recent attack, he was afraid because of her post traumatic signs, that she may break down again he if took off her shirt. He was sitting on the tub side again, thinking, as she stared off in another direction, always keeping her head down. It seemed like she was in shame, but he couldn't see why she would feel that way, none of this was her fault.

He asked quietly if she could turn more his way, and she did so. Then reaching out slowly he reached for her shirt, but soon grew afraid again and pulled his hand back away. Even Scully, as dazed and out of it she was, could see he was having problems. She reached out her hand toward him and placed it underneath. His fingers slid in-between hers and she lifted his hand toward her chest. Resting her own hand on her chest, she slid it out and pressed his hand against her. After a moment of reassurance Scully slowly dropped her hand back to her side and looked away again. Mulder brought his other hand to her shirt and carefully undid her buttons. He grew hesitant on the third button, due to it's location on her chest, but continued on. He found he was almost afraid to see how bad she was cut, hopefully it wouldn't be too bad at all. He made sure to pull her shirt off her skin as he took it off, so it wouldn't irritated any wounds. He stood up a little and pulled her shirt gently off her shoulders then let it fall to her wrists.

He finally took a good look at her stomach, he cringed. It looked as though Kevin wasn't as delicate and precise as he was made out to be, although Scully was a fighter. It came as no surprise that Kevin ran into trouble when he attacked Scully. There were a few deep marks along the higher part of her stomach, and finally a large gash in-between her two breasts. Mulder figured Kevin probably couldn't find the right spot, and when he did he didn't have enough time to do an internal, or real bad external damage. There were also a few dark bruises and what looked like nails scratches on her, but nothing too major. The attack itself, the shock of Kevin coming at Scully so profoundly was what threw her into her current state.

Mulder took the same washcloth and held it under the still warm running water. He twisted it gently, leaving some extra water in the cloth, then carefully folded it. He didn't want any loose ends touching her cuts, she was bound to be more then sore anyway. He lifted the cloth over her left shoulder and squeezed it. Water came dripping out of the cloth, some beads fell down the front of her, while others trickling down her back. The water felt soothing, and as Mulder carefully wiped off her arm first, Scully closed her eyes. It wasn't until he was done with both shoulders and both arms that she began to cringe. He started at the lowest part of her stomach, where the least amount of bruises and cuts were. She looked pretty beat up still, a lot of blood was still on her chest. He made his way around cuts and bruises as best he could at first, but soon he had to touch the wounds themselves. He had to clean them so they wouldn't become infected.

Taking a new cloth, the other soaking in blood, he dampened it and lightly placed it over a few cuts on the lower part of her stomach. Scully took in a shaky breath, sitting up straighter, which hurt all in itself. She kept her eyes shut tight, and Mulder placed his left hand on her knee. She grabbed it quickly and he moved on to other wounds. Finally he reached the worst one, and made sure to dampen the cloth again.

"This may hurt a little, just squeeze my hand as hard as you can," Mulder told her unaware of what a great grip she had. None the less, he figured it'd be best to clean up the gash quickly, efficiently, and thoroughly. He drained some water on it first, which stung, then cleaned it to best of his ability. He figured it would be best to put ointment on it, but she had had a long day, and he could tell she was exhausted.

"I cleaned it all up, tomorrow we have to put ointment on it just to make sure it heals fully, alright?" Mulder told her as he turned off the water with one hand, his other hand still being held on to by Scully. Scully nodded opening her eyes slowly. She didn't want to look at the bruises.

"You want to try to wear one of my shirts?" he asked and she nodded. Mulder stood up, but Scully didn't let go of his hand. Mulder squatted in front of her, "I'll be right back, I'm just going to the next room, ok?" Scully nodded then hesitantly let go of him. It was warm in the bathroom but probably safer to get a shirt over the wounds anyway.

Mulder came back only a few seconds later with a large t-shirt, two in fact. One had buttons and the other was a normal t-shirt.

"Let's try the normal tee," Mulder suggested and with his help Scully stood. She began to lift her arms but only got so far before wincing in pain and putting them back down. Mulder nodded tossing the shirt on the counter, and getting the one with buttons. He undid them for her and held out one side for her to slip her arm through easily.

"Can you get your other arm in?" He wondered. The shirt was big enough that Scully needn't stretch back to far. The gash in-between her breasts was the thing that was killing her. She couldn't move to far in either, opposite directions, before it began to pulsate and hurt like hell. Mulder understood. He buttoned her shirt up, but she stopped him before he got past her bra. The shirt was sticking to her too much, though it didn't hurt so far, any higher it would sting.

"You can sleep in my bed, I'll sleep on the cough. I don't want you going home these next few days. I'll get you some clothes from your apartment tomorrow, ok?" Mulder suggested. Scully nodded.

"Well, the bed's made up, and I pulled the sheets a little for you, if the shirt hurts too much, I can help you take it off, don't be embarrassed," Mulder wanted to make sure everything was going to be ok for her, "is there anything else you need, water? Food?" Scully didn't answer verbally. She covered one of his hands with both of hers, tangling the fingers from one of her hands with his, then took a step closer. She rested her head softly on his shoulder, and he softly laid his other hand on her cheek.

"Everything is going to be fine Scully, your such a strong person. And when you fall weak, I'm here. Never forget that."

Scully nodded then pulled her head away from him and pulled him slowly into his bedroom with her. She stopped just as he stepped into the room behind her, she turned around to look at the door, and Mulder made sure to close it tight. He helped her get into bed, satisfactorily because she had no extra pain doing so. Mulder climbed on top of the bed, wanting Scully to feel comfortable that he was there, but to his surprised she bent over and pulled the covers up over him. He figured that must have caused some pain due to the angle, and decided to comfort her the rest of the night, just like he had planed before getting worried she'd be uncomfortable.

He slid closer to her and she rested part of her body against him. She didn't know how comfortable Mulder was, but like he held her before, she liked it. She let out a deep sigh, which hurt a little too, then shifted her head toward him. Her forehead lightly touched his chin and he could feel her move around a few times getting even more comfortable. Over the span of a half hour, while fighting her inner demons, she had moved her body much closer to him. They barely needed the blanket now, there was enough body heat to keep her warm all night. Finally she started to stir down, and she rested her hand on his chest. Feeling his deep breaths, and even a little bit of his heart beat comforted her very much.

After he was sure she was asleep, he bowed his head down a little more, and softly kissed her forehead. Then he kissed the top of her head once more as he preserved his first position.

"I'm proud of you, Scully. You handled this with more bravery and will then I could have," he closed his eyes. He didn't need to open them as Scully began, "thank you for helping me Mulder, I love you," and at last she fell asleep.


End file.
